Emery Path, Acadia National Park, Maine
I love you, but I have a favor to ask you.
I know that there is a long tradition of gay men expressing florid disgust at female anatomy. I think you can do better than previous generations, and I’m asking you politely to please knock it the fuck off.
It’s a cunt, boys, and half the world has them. It’s very simple, really: Labia, clit, urethral opening, and vaginal opening. Not complicated, and not inherently more gross than, say, an ear, or a mouth, or an ass for that matter. You don’t ever have to examine one up close and personal, but you do have to stop describing them in terms of revulsion, because you’re being misogynist schmucks. We get that shit from the rest of the world on a regular basis and we sure as fuck don’t need to hear it from you.
Many of your strongest allies are women, and the feminist and LGBT movements need each other. Be decent gents, won’t you, and acknowledge that female sexual and reproductive health is important, even to those who will never be sexually involved with a woman. Take a deep breath and educate yourself about the female body and the things women do with it. You can do this, I have faith in you. I know you to be intelligent and kind people, with mothers and sisters and friends you love dearly and want the best for.
And if you don’t stop referring to women’s bodies with terms you think are witty but are actually abusive, this queer feminist ally is going to LOSE HER SHIT. And we don’t want that.
“What happens when you hit a bead of mercury with a hammer?
You do it no harm; on the contrary, it scatters everyfuckingwhere.”
Artist Trading Card inspired by an observation made by an Occupier of Oakland, CA.
A useful rape analogy
“Mommy, they are just like me.”
My oldest son is six years old and in love for the first time. He is in love with Blaine from Glee.
For those who don’t know Blaine is a boy…a gay boy, the boyfriend of one of the main characters, Kurt.
This isn’t a ‘he thinks Blaine is really cool’ kind of love. It is a mooning at a picture of Blaine’s face for a half hour followed by a wistful “He’s so pretty” kind of love.
He loves the episode where two boys kiss. My son will call people in from other parts of the house to make sure they don’t miss his ‘favorite part.’ He’s been known to rewind it and watch it over again…and force other to, as well, if he doesn’t think people have been paying enough attention.
This infatuation doesn’t bother me or his father. We live in a very hip-liberal neighborhood, many of our friends are gay, and idea of having a gay son isn’t something that bothers either of us. Our son is going to be who he is, and it is our job to love him. End of story.
He is also six. Six year olds get obsessed with all kinds of things. This might not mean anything at all. We always joke that he’s either gay, or we have the best blackmail material in the history of mankind when he’s a 16 year old straight boy. (Take that naked bath time pictures!)
Then the other day we were traveling across the state listening to the Warblers album (of course), and in the middle of Candles, my son pipes up from the back seat.
“Mommy, Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends.”
“Yes, they are,” I affirm.
“They don’t like kissing girls. They just kiss boys.”
“Mommy, they are just like me.”
“That’s great, baby. You know I love you no matter what?”
“I know…” I could hear him rolling his eyes at me.
When we got home I recapped this conversation to his Dad, and we stood simply looking into each other’s eyes for a moment. Then we smiled.
“So if at 16 he wants to make a big announcement at the dinner table, we can say ‘You told us when you were six. Pass the carrots’ and he’ll be disappointed we stole his big dramatic moment,” my husband says with a laugh and hugs me.
Only time will tell if my son is gay, but if he is I am glad he’s mine. I am glad he has been born into our family. A family full of people who will love and accept him. People who will never want him to change. With parents who will look forward to dancing at his wedding.
And I have to admit, Blaine would be a really cute son-in-law.